All of the pieces are there. Starting from being the non-judgmental observer I am able to witness the results of my prior decisions and actions. The karmic consequences whether they be negative or positive showing up in my future self.
So, with this commencement on Sunday I go forth and continue to observe the decisions of my actions from my present day self.
I am armed with all of the proper tools that I need to go forward. Two Mastermind groups, a universal that wants nothing but the best for me, all the tools to train my mind in a manner in which I choose and a group of loving and supporting people around me.
Good luck to all of you and please know that you can contact me anytime through this website.
I am in the midst of a battle. The battle is for my personal freedom. Do not be mistaken there are forces that are attempting to bring me down at every step of the path.
I am the Spartans heavily outnumbered by the Persian army.
The Spartans are the ones, the few, who have the courage to be exactly who they are and are meant to be.
The Persian armies metaphorically are the rest of the world with all of the Power and might of numbers of the masses behind them.
My battle will be won through peace, love and compassion!
I will persist. I will win
I went in to get my haircut this afternoon and the normal person that cuts my hair was not in today. I am in the habit of having the same couple of people cut my hair all the time for the past few years.
So, the haircut begins and this new guy is all over the place with the shears, down, over, left, right and I’m thinking “Oh my God!” It felt like a disaster was going on up there! To top it off, the usual people that cut my hair are female. This was no feminine cut. The new person was male and he cut my hair like the Brawny Lumberjack… pushing my head, left, right, up and down treating me very rough. Again, I’m thinking oh no! What in the world is going on here?
He was moving my head around with his hands, the shears were just snipping and buzzing all over the place! He was spinning that chair around with his feet… pumping it up and down, lowering it and raising it so he could reach the various parts of my head and I was thinking to myself this is going to be trouble!
He turned me around, put me in front of the mirror to take a look and I thought oh my God! This is a disaster. Not GOOD! At that very moment he pulled out his shears again he went over my head like a fine sushi chef creating a beautiful work of art! I went through the process one more time then he spun me around in front of the mirror, he looked it over and he was not happy with what he had done so he started the process all over again. All the while I am thinking to myself that this is probably going to be the worst haircut that I’ve ever had and I am going to have to come back tomorrow to have one of the regulars cut my hair because this is not going to work for me!
When he finally completed he spun me around in front of the mirror and to my complete and utter amazement he had done a beautiful job.
Why do I bring the story up? Because, I believe that this is what we are doing in the MKE. We are creating manifesting and changing our worlds. We are creating and manifesting and then deciding whether or not it is what we wanted or should we create something new because this is not exactly what I thought it was going to be. We keep creating until we get it exactly the way we want it and then turn around in the mirror and take a look just like the person that cut my hair did.
I think I have a new person that cuts my hair every other week!
Changes are here. My hero’s journey mostly revolves around control and letting go of it. My earliest memories of attempting to control actually were in kindergarten for me. I can recall having to use the restroom and went up to my kindergarten teacher and asked if I could use the restroom because I had to go very badly. She said no and that I would have to wait until lunch time in order to use it. I can remember being very angry with her because obviously, I had to use it and use it now. So, I walked back to my desk, sat down and thought about it for a moment. In that moment, I chose to go ahead and let it go. I went number one in my pants. After all, I did not constantly ask to use the restroom. I did not frivolously ask to leave the room. So in my little five year old mind I was going to show her who was in control. I really didn’t think about it in quite those terms but I knew I was going to have my way about going to the bathroom one way or another. From that point on I was a total control freak regarding myself and my life. No one was going to tell me what to do. No one was going to control my life. I have been arrogant, self-centered and that has left me isolated and lonely at times. Please don’t misunderstand the control issues still pop up and I realize it faster than I used to.
My days are different now. Control issues, worry and anxiety still creep into my consciousness however, I recognize it and just keep repeating to myself that it’s just those little control issues popping up into my little brain. I recognize them for what they are and I just go about my life.
I’m stepping into that part of the hero’s journey that I have to do solely on my own. This is the place that I’ve been avoiding my entire life.
I was on vacation this week in Northern Utah in the Wasatch Mountain area. A very beautiful part of the country. We got 38 inches of snow over the course of the week that I was there. There were several things that I particularly noticed this trip period first comma was that wherever you go there you are is Yogi Berra would say. A person could place themselves in the most beautiful part of the world and it simply wouldn’t matter if the inside world was turbulent and chaotic. I guess what I’m saying is that anyone could truly be peaceful in a peaceful and serene environment. It really takes discipline and concentration to be peaceful and Serene in the most chaotic and turbulent environments.
I am from a relatively urban environment. So, noises are very much a part of my world day and night. I really noticed when I was by myself out in the pines and Aspens that snow acts as a very good insulator. It is extremely quiet and all sound is absorbed into the snow around you. It was one of the most peaceful times that I have had in a while ….very, very quiet.
And the last thing I noticed was my relationships. I went on the trip with two other people and one I knew since kindergarten and the other since grade school.
I noticed how very unselfish we were towards having everyone get what they want out of the trip. When you have three individuals of very different backgrounds with very different views of life opinions can run very differently. We each got to have the vacation that worked for every one of us with grace and ease.
It was a beautiful vacation.
When I look back at the times I was most uncomfortable or living in chaos it appears to me that these were the times that I actually performed at my highest levels. I was definitely more creative. I was living in the moment.
Success is a very bad teacher. I can think that in my most successful time periods that I actually became arrogant, slothful and lazy. It wasn’t until success started to disappear that I actually gained my edge again.
In looking at using my emotions as a tool for success I find that it’s a bit dichotomous for me. Anger, for me is the best tool for success. The difficult thing for me to come to terms with is that anger is not a place of comfort for me. So, when I am in this state of anger even though it helps me push through situations that I need to push through I feel guilty afterwards because I make it a moral issue for myself and make myself bad and wrong for it. Thus, I avoid using anger as my success tool. I feel guilty even discussing it in a blog.
I am definitely open for suggestions….
So many changes! The universe continues to call. My work is extremely chaotic at the moment. I am living in an extreme world of extreme uncertainty! I have been contemplating the thought of living comfortably being out of control as a form of control. Living my life as being comfortable in a state of being of uncomfortable.
This is sort of like playing a mind trick on myself. Living in the context of being comfortable with being uncomfortable appears at this point as the only way for me to cope with the chaos surrounding me.
Being comfortable in the state of discomfort…What a way to grow!